The other week was good. It was full of family and catching up and coffee. Always coffee. (I started drinking Cafe Bustello coffee about maybe two weeks ago and I absolutely LOVE it! I even got my picky papa to try it. Anyone else??)
I got to hold my nephew (who, when he starts stretching in his swaddle blanket right before he really starts crying, looks like a turtle). I got to go on a walk with my niece (who has the biggest heart I've ever seen on an almost three year old and a memory that is slightly better than mine). I got to hang out with my sister and her husband, who thankfully got/had the day off. I love when that happens. And then of course, my baby sister and her husband were there. At one point, we were all basically around the same table and I just looked out at my crazy family and thought, "You know, even with our flaws and struggles, I'm so glad these people are my people."
And because life happens, there was some not so great stuff mixed in there, too. We had some of the hottest days of the summer that week. Not such a terrible thing if you are indoors with the air conditioner on high...except we didn't have an air conditioner. And mowing grass in that heat? Forget about it! It took me twice as long to finish because I was always stopping for water and sunscreen.
But while I was baking under the sun and dying for a breeze, I was thinking about the things that go wrong in our lives. Very "up" thoughts to be having on a beautiful sunny day, right? I thought about how we learn through life that whatever happens is a consequence of our actions, for good or bad. I mean look at Newton's third law of motion; he sees it too. I think I spent most of my life thinking that some good things that happened to me were miracles and I could only attribute them to God working in my life. Some other good things (good grades, as one example) happened because of the work I put into them. And of course, bad things were because I messed something up or was being punished for something.
I think I've been accident prone all my life, but the last few weeks I've had a few more accidents than I care to admit. Some of them were my fault, some of them were not. My gut reaction to the things that weren't my fault? WHY GOD?! I mean really, what did I do to deserve this?!?
Um..? Maybe nothing? Life happens.
In the "why me?" scenario, everything that happens is about me. I am the center of that universe. But guess what? We interact with so many people throughout the day, and I forget that maybe some of the things that happen to me are part of other people's lives and lessons to learn. We might not understand the reason behind them, but like Aslan says in The Horse and His Boy, "Child, I am telling you your story, not hers. I tell no one any story but his own."
Maybe, sometimes, the things that happen to us are just things.
It might not be something we need to work through in order to learn something about ourselves or to see where we are lacking. Maybe it isn't because we were rude to the cashier 6 weeks ago (but you know, please be nice to your cashiers. They have long days on their feet and really underneath it all, they are people too.) or we forgot to have quiet time with Jesus today.
I think how we deal with whatever happens, of course, is important. It says a lot about the times the lesson was for us and what we've learned from those times. And sometimes, maybe the experience isn't ever for us. Maybe it is for someone in the future who comes to us distraught because they don't know what to do. We can share our experiences and the lessons we've learned. And isn't that what community is all about?
Showing posts with label Big God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Big God. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
Monday, August 3, 2015
Fully Human, Fully God...But How??
This quarter, my pastor is teaching a Sunday school class called Veiled in Flesh. It's an intro class about Christology, that is, understanding who the Bible says that Jesus is. We talked for weeks about the Virgin birth, what it is and what it isn't, arguments for and against, the logic of it, and its doctrinal importance.
All in a Sunday school class?
Yes.
How does that work? Well, my pastor loves teaching (in his "spare time" he teaches at a local seminary) so it's all kind of like cat nip to him. He encourages questions and loves discussing things that aren't on the 15-page hand out. Because of this, sometimes we end up on very interesting scholarly bunny trails. The one that is on my mind still today is this: did Jesus ever get sick?
Through the discussion of the Virgin birth, we had to grapple with the concept of Jesus being fully God and fully man. Of course, that is a loaded thought. People have been discussing and dissecting this concept for years. How does it all work? Can it work? What are the implications?
We started yesterday's class looking at the outcome of The Chalcedonian Confession from 451. In it, they discuss their understanding of what Jesus being both human and divine means for faith and understanding of the scripture. One of the things that really stood out (maybe because it was also the point my pastor was trying to make) was that they didn't define the nature of Jesus as what it was, but rather, what it was not: "One and the same Christ, Son, Lord, only begotten, to be acknowledged in two natures, without confusion, without change, without division, without separation; the distinction of natures being by no means take away by the union, but rather the property of each nature being preserved..."
How else do you really explain something you can't fully understand? Never mind for a moment the actual theological ramifications of this technique, on a political level, this very smart. The way I see it, if you come out and say "Jesus was both divine and human and was like THIS..." you are tiptoeing (if not crossing completely) into heresy. I think if you take time to observe Jesus and his nature as a whole, you might being noting that to be "confusing" and "changing" is against his nature; therefore, to be both God and man he would necessarily have to be so without confusion, change, division, or separation.
With that knowledge swimming around in our brains, we then started to discuss that troublesome question: did Jesus ever get sick? My pastor opened up the floor for perspectives from the class, prefacing the discussion with the comment that there are scholarly arguments for both sides of the question.
One response was that according to scripture, Jesus was hungry and thirsty, so his divinity didn't keep him from suffering those human issues. Why would he also be kept from a sinus infection or cold?
A few brought up that Jesus' body might have been like Adam's was before the fall: perfect. If this is true, and if we view disease and sickness as part of the fall, wouldn't he necessarily be exempted from those effects from sin?
Others brought up his suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane and on the cross. Those are the sufferings of a human being: broken bones, bloody body, sweat drops like blood. Divine yes, but, as the class title references, with human skin on.
I loved the debate, the back and forth from the different minds represented in the room. You could tell everyone was thinking about the question and the ramifications of the answer, even if they didn't have a seminary degree (which, most of us did not). I think the bottom line came down to this: if Jesus was human and got sick, he wasn't very divine, was he? Only a weak god gets the sniffles. However, if Jesus was divine and didn't get sick, how can he be the savior who understands our human struggles, hurts, and suffering? He doesn't understand the human condition.
As the arguments, each with merit, continued to be discussed around the room, I realized we weren't actually going to agree on a verdict as a class. Honestly, it felt a little like philosophy class from my college days. "Yes, but is Descartes right in his way of thinking, in his way of understanding what is real?" My philosophy professor would never say!! It drove the whole class nuts, and prompted me to change my minor to philosophy. A minor where there was no right or wrong answer? Sign me up!
I started to wonder why such a simple question couldn't be answered. I think maybe the reason we couldn't agree is because we were approaching the question with our own version of humanity and deity. I think we look at the situation and say, "If I were Jesus, my humanity would look close enough to the worlds to be accepted, but just shy of actually suffering." Or, of course, on the flip side, "If I were Jesus, my divinity would allow me to live a super hero type existence, where the heat, cold, hunger and thirst wouldn't bother me." I'm not saying the question was wrong; I'm thinking that in our human existence, without full understanding of what it means to be both divine and human, we will continue to ascribe our version of humanity and our version of deity on Jesus that pales in comparison to the actual truth.
My thoughts? Did Jesus ever get sick? Maybe he did. Maybe he didn't.
I know he was concerned for us in our fallen state. He prays for us. He struggled with hard decisions and prayed, that if it was possible, for things to be different. He suffered personal loss of family and friends. He suffered spiritual and physical temptation. He suffered spiritual and physical torment.
And really, sickness comes and goes. Even in those first few days, when you feel terrible, you know that it won't last forever. Loss of a loved one, however, kind of sticks with you. Anniversaries and memories hit you, and you realize that however much time passes, the hurt never really goes away. Emotional pain has the tendency to stick with you for a long while and can affect how you process and understand your world. I am comforted in the fact that the pain of loss is something Jesus understood fully.
No, it doesn't clear up the whole, "How can he be divine and human at the SAME TIME?!?" question for me. But it helps me understand a little bit more of his nature and character and I think that is the most important thing.
All in a Sunday school class?
Yes.
How does that work? Well, my pastor loves teaching (in his "spare time" he teaches at a local seminary) so it's all kind of like cat nip to him. He encourages questions and loves discussing things that aren't on the 15-page hand out. Because of this, sometimes we end up on very interesting scholarly bunny trails. The one that is on my mind still today is this: did Jesus ever get sick?
Through the discussion of the Virgin birth, we had to grapple with the concept of Jesus being fully God and fully man. Of course, that is a loaded thought. People have been discussing and dissecting this concept for years. How does it all work? Can it work? What are the implications?
We started yesterday's class looking at the outcome of The Chalcedonian Confession from 451. In it, they discuss their understanding of what Jesus being both human and divine means for faith and understanding of the scripture. One of the things that really stood out (maybe because it was also the point my pastor was trying to make) was that they didn't define the nature of Jesus as what it was, but rather, what it was not: "One and the same Christ, Son, Lord, only begotten, to be acknowledged in two natures, without confusion, without change, without division, without separation; the distinction of natures being by no means take away by the union, but rather the property of each nature being preserved..."
How else do you really explain something you can't fully understand? Never mind for a moment the actual theological ramifications of this technique, on a political level, this very smart. The way I see it, if you come out and say "Jesus was both divine and human and was like THIS..." you are tiptoeing (if not crossing completely) into heresy. I think if you take time to observe Jesus and his nature as a whole, you might being noting that to be "confusing" and "changing" is against his nature; therefore, to be both God and man he would necessarily have to be so without confusion, change, division, or separation.
With that knowledge swimming around in our brains, we then started to discuss that troublesome question: did Jesus ever get sick? My pastor opened up the floor for perspectives from the class, prefacing the discussion with the comment that there are scholarly arguments for both sides of the question.
One response was that according to scripture, Jesus was hungry and thirsty, so his divinity didn't keep him from suffering those human issues. Why would he also be kept from a sinus infection or cold?
A few brought up that Jesus' body might have been like Adam's was before the fall: perfect. If this is true, and if we view disease and sickness as part of the fall, wouldn't he necessarily be exempted from those effects from sin?
Others brought up his suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane and on the cross. Those are the sufferings of a human being: broken bones, bloody body, sweat drops like blood. Divine yes, but, as the class title references, with human skin on.
I loved the debate, the back and forth from the different minds represented in the room. You could tell everyone was thinking about the question and the ramifications of the answer, even if they didn't have a seminary degree (which, most of us did not). I think the bottom line came down to this: if Jesus was human and got sick, he wasn't very divine, was he? Only a weak god gets the sniffles. However, if Jesus was divine and didn't get sick, how can he be the savior who understands our human struggles, hurts, and suffering? He doesn't understand the human condition.
As the arguments, each with merit, continued to be discussed around the room, I realized we weren't actually going to agree on a verdict as a class. Honestly, it felt a little like philosophy class from my college days. "Yes, but is Descartes right in his way of thinking, in his way of understanding what is real?" My philosophy professor would never say!! It drove the whole class nuts, and prompted me to change my minor to philosophy. A minor where there was no right or wrong answer? Sign me up!
I started to wonder why such a simple question couldn't be answered. I think maybe the reason we couldn't agree is because we were approaching the question with our own version of humanity and deity. I think we look at the situation and say, "If I were Jesus, my humanity would look close enough to the worlds to be accepted, but just shy of actually suffering." Or, of course, on the flip side, "If I were Jesus, my divinity would allow me to live a super hero type existence, where the heat, cold, hunger and thirst wouldn't bother me." I'm not saying the question was wrong; I'm thinking that in our human existence, without full understanding of what it means to be both divine and human, we will continue to ascribe our version of humanity and our version of deity on Jesus that pales in comparison to the actual truth.
My thoughts? Did Jesus ever get sick? Maybe he did. Maybe he didn't.
I know he was concerned for us in our fallen state. He prays for us. He struggled with hard decisions and prayed, that if it was possible, for things to be different. He suffered personal loss of family and friends. He suffered spiritual and physical temptation. He suffered spiritual and physical torment.
And really, sickness comes and goes. Even in those first few days, when you feel terrible, you know that it won't last forever. Loss of a loved one, however, kind of sticks with you. Anniversaries and memories hit you, and you realize that however much time passes, the hurt never really goes away. Emotional pain has the tendency to stick with you for a long while and can affect how you process and understand your world. I am comforted in the fact that the pain of loss is something Jesus understood fully.
No, it doesn't clear up the whole, "How can he be divine and human at the SAME TIME?!?" question for me. But it helps me understand a little bit more of his nature and character and I think that is the most important thing.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Rainy days
Is anyone else getting a little tired of the rain hitting PA these days? Just me?
I love the rain, I do. Any kind of rain makes me think of London rain. A traditional London rain is a consistent mist through out the day, but of course it does deluge on occasion. Like that day I spent running around the city, without rain boots, and my jeans got soaked up to my thighs? That was a pretty good day, though.
I had to brave all the rain yesterday. As much as I hated it, I had to. Why, you ask? (Drum roll, please....) Because of the interview I had! Woot! That's right! This girl had her first (ok, well second this summer, but this one I wanted!) interview for a real job! A full time job in an academic library!! (And, as a bonus, they offer graduate classes. Which means if I get this job, and if I have it for 6+months, I can start grad school for almost nothing! I think. Still working on details for that one.)
Of course to have this interview, I did have to drive an hour through pouring rain just to get there. And I had to take the longest detour ever just to get home because of flooding and downed trees on the road. And yes, I had to ShopVac the basement when I got home 2.5hrs after the interview.
How much has my life been like yesterday this past summer? My life has seen so many detours, closed roads and road blocks the past few months. Yesterday, I had my dad's GPS so thankfully I could get home with some certainty that I wasn't going to get lost. In life, I don't feel like I have that. I wish I could hear God's voice saying, "In three weeks, take the interview offered to you" or "Pass up the next three jobs in faith that the fourth one will be the one I have for you." My pastor once preached a sermon about how God, unlike our GPS units, doesn't tell up "Recalculating" because He isn't thrown by our mistakes or the troubles that come up in our life. He doesn't have to give up directions for a detour. I know all of that, but sometimes I would love to hear that audible voice giving directions. I know prayer goes a long way in this, I know. But still, there are days when I wish I could hear him say, "Laura, this is the one. This is it."
But you know what? Yesterday was a pretty good day. Rain and all, you ask?
Yes. Rain and all.
I love the rain, I do. Any kind of rain makes me think of London rain. A traditional London rain is a consistent mist through out the day, but of course it does deluge on occasion. Like that day I spent running around the city, without rain boots, and my jeans got soaked up to my thighs? That was a pretty good day, though.
I had to brave all the rain yesterday. As much as I hated it, I had to. Why, you ask? (Drum roll, please....) Because of the interview I had! Woot! That's right! This girl had her first (ok, well second this summer, but this one I wanted!) interview for a real job! A full time job in an academic library!! (And, as a bonus, they offer graduate classes. Which means if I get this job, and if I have it for 6+months, I can start grad school for almost nothing! I think. Still working on details for that one.)
Of course to have this interview, I did have to drive an hour through pouring rain just to get there. And I had to take the longest detour ever just to get home because of flooding and downed trees on the road. And yes, I had to ShopVac the basement when I got home 2.5hrs after the interview.
How much has my life been like yesterday this past summer? My life has seen so many detours, closed roads and road blocks the past few months. Yesterday, I had my dad's GPS so thankfully I could get home with some certainty that I wasn't going to get lost. In life, I don't feel like I have that. I wish I could hear God's voice saying, "In three weeks, take the interview offered to you" or "Pass up the next three jobs in faith that the fourth one will be the one I have for you." My pastor once preached a sermon about how God, unlike our GPS units, doesn't tell up "Recalculating" because He isn't thrown by our mistakes or the troubles that come up in our life. He doesn't have to give up directions for a detour. I know all of that, but sometimes I would love to hear that audible voice giving directions. I know prayer goes a long way in this, I know. But still, there are days when I wish I could hear him say, "Laura, this is the one. This is it."
But you know what? Yesterday was a pretty good day. Rain and all, you ask?
Yes. Rain and all.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Looking for a job like it's my job...just without the paycheck
It's been a crazy few weeks (or has it been almost a month?? Oops. Sorry about that.)!
To sum things up: I moved back home.
The End.
(No seriously. The end.)
The move went really well. There were four of us, one Uhaul thing on the back of my parent's car, my Jetta, and my friend's van. And yes, all of my possessions fit. I either have a sad pathetic life ... or I need to get rid of stuff so I can prep for living out of my car. Because, let's face it. If I don't get a job soon, that might be where I end up.
Trust me when I say that you, my readers, benefited from me NOT blogging during the past few weeks. It would have sounded like this, "Blah blah blah, Woe is me. I don't have a job. Waaaa waaaa. Blah blah blah." (Plus or minus a few rain clouds, tears and a few not safe for work outbursts. Trust me on this one. You are welcome.)
Last night was an uncommon low point for me, so I had it out with God.
Which is big talk for the chicken that I am.
Because what I actually did was beg.
I pleaded with Him to show me what to do. I asked questions. And then, I begged some more.
Most times, I feel like I missed His plan. Like He showed me this great big dream and I just forgot about it or ignored it. But even if I did (because sometimes I am dense...), isn't he the God of second chances? Would he really say, "Yeah....you are about five years off "The Plan" I had for you. You really buggered that one up. Good luck trying to find a way to make things work." I am clinging to the hope that he doesn't do that.
I've been seeing so many Tweets over the past few days that, even to my depressed mind, have been encouraging. Things that said reminded me that there are different seasons in life, that rain and drought have their time, that God loves even when we are unlovable. I read them all saying in my head, "Yes, I hear that. But how? Why? It can't be true for me."
But then I realized something. I have to look past the doubt and believe it anyway. It is hard, oh so hard for me to do that. But it is the only thing that makes sense right now.
So today, I'm looking for a job. Not just looking, but promising myself to actually APPLY for something. Big or small. And I'm choosing to believe that God's plan for me is still in place. Choosing to believe that I am here, in this moment, for a reason. Even if I haven't the foggiest idea what that reason is.
I'm choosing joy.
I'm choosing hope.
To sum things up: I moved back home.
The End.
(No seriously. The end.)
The move went really well. There were four of us, one Uhaul thing on the back of my parent's car, my Jetta, and my friend's van. And yes, all of my possessions fit. I either have a sad pathetic life ... or I need to get rid of stuff so I can prep for living out of my car. Because, let's face it. If I don't get a job soon, that might be where I end up.
Trust me when I say that you, my readers, benefited from me NOT blogging during the past few weeks. It would have sounded like this, "Blah blah blah, Woe is me. I don't have a job. Waaaa waaaa. Blah blah blah." (Plus or minus a few rain clouds, tears and a few not safe for work outbursts. Trust me on this one. You are welcome.)
Last night was an uncommon low point for me, so I had it out with God.
Which is big talk for the chicken that I am.
Because what I actually did was beg.
I pleaded with Him to show me what to do. I asked questions. And then, I begged some more.
Most times, I feel like I missed His plan. Like He showed me this great big dream and I just forgot about it or ignored it. But even if I did (because sometimes I am dense...), isn't he the God of second chances? Would he really say, "Yeah....you are about five years off "The Plan" I had for you. You really buggered that one up. Good luck trying to find a way to make things work." I am clinging to the hope that he doesn't do that.
I've been seeing so many Tweets over the past few days that, even to my depressed mind, have been encouraging. Things that said reminded me that there are different seasons in life, that rain and drought have their time, that God loves even when we are unlovable. I read them all saying in my head, "Yes, I hear that. But how? Why? It can't be true for me."
But then I realized something. I have to look past the doubt and believe it anyway. It is hard, oh so hard for me to do that. But it is the only thing that makes sense right now.
So today, I'm looking for a job. Not just looking, but promising myself to actually APPLY for something. Big or small. And I'm choosing to believe that God's plan for me is still in place. Choosing to believe that I am here, in this moment, for a reason. Even if I haven't the foggiest idea what that reason is.
I'm choosing joy.
I'm choosing hope.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Finding the Balance
I got a call today.
It might be one of those life changing calls, but I'm not sure yet.
Forgive me for being vague, but I'm still processing, still thinking through. Still praying.
Or maybe, am I just starting?
Of course I've been praying. I started when I put applications out. "Dear Lord, I'm desperate here! Please guide me." Then the waiting kicked in. And the prayers, well, I thought I kept praying them, but I think I stopped. God was in control, wasn't he? I didn't have to be responsible for the plan, right? So I prayed for help and left it in His hands. Wasn't that what I was meant to do?
But today, when I got that call, I started praying again. And that's when I realized I stopped. Why?
Because I thought God was Too Big to be concerned with the everyday minutiae of my life. He is Big Enough for the life changing things, this I do know. But strength for the day? Isn't that too small a task for God? Doesn't He have better things to do?
Does he?
I have such trouble finding the balance between a "fuzzy" personal God who loves me deeply for me, for the person he's created me to be, and a powerful ruler of the Universe with the plans of millions in His hands. The balance between a God of grace and love, and a God of justice. (And yes, I did just finish reading "The Priest's Graveyard" by Ted Dekker. Why do you ask?)
I know He is Big and Mighty.
But sometimes, and maybe just to me, He feels too big.
And I'm not sure what to do with that.
It might be one of those life changing calls, but I'm not sure yet.
Forgive me for being vague, but I'm still processing, still thinking through. Still praying.
Or maybe, am I just starting?
Of course I've been praying. I started when I put applications out. "Dear Lord, I'm desperate here! Please guide me." Then the waiting kicked in. And the prayers, well, I thought I kept praying them, but I think I stopped. God was in control, wasn't he? I didn't have to be responsible for the plan, right? So I prayed for help and left it in His hands. Wasn't that what I was meant to do?
But today, when I got that call, I started praying again. And that's when I realized I stopped. Why?
Because I thought God was Too Big to be concerned with the everyday minutiae of my life. He is Big Enough for the life changing things, this I do know. But strength for the day? Isn't that too small a task for God? Doesn't He have better things to do?
Does he?
I have such trouble finding the balance between a "fuzzy" personal God who loves me deeply for me, for the person he's created me to be, and a powerful ruler of the Universe with the plans of millions in His hands. The balance between a God of grace and love, and a God of justice. (And yes, I did just finish reading "The Priest's Graveyard" by Ted Dekker. Why do you ask?)
I know He is Big and Mighty.
But sometimes, and maybe just to me, He feels too big.
And I'm not sure what to do with that.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Testing, testing. Is this thing on?
And just like that, when I've come to accept my non-role in my own life, the Lord tests it.
After a long, exhausting day last night I head home to find my house a wreck (no surprise there...) and no will to clean it. I said, "Lord, I'm too tired. I just can't." Early to bed for me.
On my way to bed, my glasses break. Guess that phone call to the eye doctor will be made today rather than some vague time in the future.
After reading my Bible and North & South, I pray for a good nights sleep (i.e. one that does not involve me getting up at 2 and 4 am) and roll over.
And then, my phone rings. And I get some not so happy news. Not the end of the world news, but news that made me feel helpless and anxious. I cried. I prayed. I prayed some more. My mind was now wide awake and not letting me sleep. I again told God that I needed to sleep. Really really needed to sleep.
This morning I woke up and actually felt like getting out of bed! And who says God doesn't listen when we pray? But more than that, I'm am so excited to see God preparing my heart for things I cannot control. I'm not waiting for the other shoe to drop, but I am expecting something big. Not because I deserve something big or have worked for it, but because God is big. And that is something I'm really glad about. Especially today.
After a long, exhausting day last night I head home to find my house a wreck (no surprise there...) and no will to clean it. I said, "Lord, I'm too tired. I just can't." Early to bed for me.
On my way to bed, my glasses break. Guess that phone call to the eye doctor will be made today rather than some vague time in the future.
After reading my Bible and North & South, I pray for a good nights sleep (i.e. one that does not involve me getting up at 2 and 4 am) and roll over.
And then, my phone rings. And I get some not so happy news. Not the end of the world news, but news that made me feel helpless and anxious. I cried. I prayed. I prayed some more. My mind was now wide awake and not letting me sleep. I again told God that I needed to sleep. Really really needed to sleep.
This morning I woke up and actually felt like getting out of bed! And who says God doesn't listen when we pray? But more than that, I'm am so excited to see God preparing my heart for things I cannot control. I'm not waiting for the other shoe to drop, but I am expecting something big. Not because I deserve something big or have worked for it, but because God is big. And that is something I'm really glad about. Especially today.
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