Children grow up. All of you adults are laughing at me now saying, "Uh, yeah well, that IS the point. And it's about time, too!" And I know. It's the way life is supposed to work. It doesn't mean I have to like it!
Over the past week or two, I've been noticing people more. Noticing that maybe I have more friends than I had previously thought, that those silly youth group kids weren't dorky awkward freshmen anymore, but seniors soon graduating. I'm noticing that infants and toddlers grow in leaps and bounds in WEEKS! I swear the little girl I babysit gets bigger week to week! She is holding her head up more and is more alert. It's so amazing to watch! See? I know not all growth is bad!
But there are moments when the years catch up with you, and when they do, they hit you hard. At our Good Friday service at church, we have a large cross in the front of the church. At the end of the service, we nail our testimony cards to it to remind us that Jesus took our nails and the punishment that was ours by right. At the start of service, two men carry a ladder in and a third climbs up to nail the sign at the top of the cross. Anyway, this year a member of the youth group and a member of the young adult group carried in the ladder. It doesn't sound like much, but it shocked me. That was a MAN'S job. Like, a grown up man's job. In my eyes, they were still boys. "When did they grow up?" I asked myself. Last week. Last week they grew up. When they carried their friend's casket to the front of the church. That is the moment they grew up. And I mourn their passing into adult hood, because I didn't even notice.
As the years continue to come and go, I realize how quickly they pass. Again, you parents will moan and say I'm talking crazy, but that's the way it is. I was reminded tonight that I am a bit older than the youth group members. Wait, am I? Didn't I just graduate high school? Are you sure I'm a college senior? Am I really five years older than these kids, I mean, young people? Where did the years go? I think I didn't notice they were gone because I still hold so many of my "little girl" insecurities. But maybe, it's better this way. Not noticing the years pass because I know I still have flaws keeps me from thinking I'm better than people. I like that I fit in with the youth group when I can, or adults when I need to. I guess it's really the best of both worlds.