Well, another year has almost passed. That infernal timepiece that doesn't stop until God allows it to is still ticking for me. I'm still waiting for my "what I want to be when I grow up" to kick in. I think I might revert back to what I wanted to be when I was a child: a nurse and a truck driver.
Sometimes it seems like I haven't grown at all. I was looking through my journal and note that I still struggle with the same things. But I also noticed that some of the issues I found monumental were so very childish. I like that I can see the difference now. I like the way that I relate to people now. I was always so aware of my own pains and problems. They were so very childish. But I find that the lessons I've learned from those hurts makes it possible for me to minister to others in a very special and unique way.
My future is still uncertain. Due to my fear and abhorrence of needles, I will probably never become a nurse. Due to my lack of depth perception, I would make a really horrible truck driver (coz I wouldn't be able to back up to a dock properly). I'm not done having problems in life, but they don't seem as insurmountable now. Like the song says, "It's still the same old story...as time goes by." Some things change. But others...oh, they are the fundamentals. I still love coffee. (I secretly pray I never have to give it up. Ever. If I ever have children, they will be java junkies from birth.) The smell of books is almost better than flowers to me. I would rather own more books than clothes...but not shoes! I have a God who watches over me, even (and especially) when I'm faithless. His love for me never ends and there is nothing I can do to change that. When I remember He is the one that invented time and everything that goes with it, I don't mind that I don't know what I'll be when I grow up. I don't mind because I know that He knows. He knows coz it's what He has purposed for me.
And I like the idea of having a purpose.