The very last day of undergraduate study. One final stands between me and graduation. Is it just me or did this day seem like a fantasy four years ago? The mythical day at the end of four years of study that, in the moment, felt like it would kill me and THEN go to work on me. I never thought it would end.
I've been slightly emotional this week. A few different reasons for that, some of which have nothing to do with graduation. But mostly, I've been thinking about the friends I've made, the relationships I've worked on and how in a little more than 24 hours I might never see some of those people again. It's sad and depressing. I didn't have to go through the separation when I started college; it's one of the perks of staying local. I had a taste of it when I got back from London. I miss Rachel at least 5 times every day. I can't even imagine multiplying that to cover all the friends I made in the library and the Learning Center over the years, not to mention theater friends, classmates and club members. Saying goodbye is one of my least favourite things to do these days.
And of course, I can't make it through graduation without thinking of J. He was graduating from high school this year. He was going to go to college in the fall and have his own set of scary and exciting college experiences. Maybe it shouldn't, but it hurts me to know he doesn't have that chance. It hurts me to think of his parents and how they won't get to see him graduate. It still hurts, and it makes me wonder if it will ever NOT hurt.
If I know you and don't live with you, don't be surprised if I don't say "goodbye" after graduation. I can't. I'll probably say "See you later" because I need to believe I will see you again. Perhaps a bit dramatic and romantic, but hey! I'm an English major. It's how I do things.
One good thing about all of this is soon I won't have to fight for a parking space at school! That gets rid of about 50% of my daily stress!