#100DaysToBraveSummer

This post started last Tuesday on one of my other social media outlets and as I continued to type I realized that maybe it was a blog post instead of an update. I'm a little rusty so if it feels a little disjointed, that's because it is. 

What happened last Tuesday that started this blogging idea again? 

Annie Downs. You know, like usual. 

Way back in 2015 (good gracious, has it been that long?) I was working my way through Annie's book Let's all be Brave. I still haven't made my way through it, just in case you were wondering. She later released a devotional called 100 Days to Brave, but since I still haven't finished her other brave book, I didn't think I could pick up her new one. Days turned to weeks and I forgot about all of it. 

I did a search on my blog and somehow only mentioned Annie three times on here? Anyway, I feel like we are friends since we share a love for Scotland (and of the three blog posts, two of them mention Annie in conjunction with Scotland so...) and she turned me on to my resurrected summer music obsession, The Lone Bellow. She speaks my language in so many things and I don't feel so alone in the struggle. Her words challenge me, which is how I got into this whole thing in the first place. 

So when she started #100daystobravesummer read along last week, I thought I would be safe following her first week on Instagram and then moving on with my life. Except, because it is Annie you guys, I read the first two days and decided that this was something my heart needed. I need to be reminded, and more than just on Sunday morning, that I was created to be brave and created for a purpose. I need to be reminded that no one lies to me quite like I do (okay, that one was a Matt Chandler quote, but Annie talks about it too!). And that in order to combat the lies you need to KNOW and BELIEVE the truth about yourself, the truth that Jesus says about you. 

And that is how I started my 100 Days to Brave. 

Sometimes it is hard. Sometimes there are great truths that make me want to camp out on a single day for about a week. Each day feels big and weighty and that alone is intimidating to me. But Annie says we were created to be brave, so I guess I'm going to keep at it. I'm going to try blogging through this summer, mostly because I miss it. I miss creating in the way that feels most natural to me. And hey, diving into a blog that's been on snooze for the last six months is a little brave, right? 

PS If you want to join me, grab a book and dive in! We started on Memorial Day so Tuesday, June 5th puts us on Day 9. 

A Dusty Travel Journal

You know how some dates are just seared in you memory? You can't forget them no matter what. The weeks leading up to the date are full of expectation. You know something big has happened in your history, just because of the way your brain treats the date. 

Today is one of those days for me. 

Today is the 7th anniversary of this blog.

So...big deal, you say. What's that got to do with anything? 

Seven years ago, I got on a plane by myself for the first time. I'd traveled with groups before, sure. Never by myself. Never across the ocean. But now, I can't say that any more.

As the years pass, the memories start to fade. Some things I will never forget, like stepping foot in C. S. Lewis' church, seeing his home & his grave. Sitting in the warm rooms of The Bird & The Baby on a cold and rainy night.  Seeing London from the top of St. Paul's, the city stretching out as far as I could see in all directions. Attending a show at the Globe, in the freezing cold fall weather. (Honestly, I don't remember the cold; I just know it was. I remember that night and know that it was a supremely happy memory.) Feeling the breeze from the rushing train approaching the Tube platform; feeling thankful that the train had finally arrived and praying that you might actually make it to class on time. Seeing and falling in love with Scotland in a single moment. Praying desperately to God when I felt lost in the city and watching him answer in a big way. Sunday lunches with the Diamond's and friends from St. Giles. Bible study and Christmas party with the student group at KCBC.

Seven years ago, I started this small blog to keep my family and friends up to date on my life while I was in England. It's become so much more than a simple travel blog to me. Thank you for sticking around during the months I don't write and the ones that I do, for putting up with silly posts about fall weather & coffee and literature & theologically deep ones where I try to process different thoughts in my head. 

This blogging thing continues to be an adventure for me, so thank you for sticking with me. Thank you for the encouragement to keep writing and exploring things, even if it is simple every day things. Because really, the big stuff is great and memory making. But it's the every day stuff that makes life full and rich and worth getting up for in the morning. 

So here's to more coffee dates with friends, knitting projects accomplished, and half miles run with my niece. Here's to learning what it means to be content in the life you've been given but not sit back and watch it pass you by. Here's to staying out with friends and sleeping late. 

Here's to more adventures!

Exhaustion and John Green

This morning I was feeling tired. Not like that is an uncommon thing in my life. I tend to wake up thinking, "Just ten more minutes, mom!" and then realize that I am the Boss of the snooze button. Life is happy for another ten minutes, but then I should probably get up. I mean maybe, right? 

Today was one of those days. The biggest struggle of the day was getting up to make the coffee, and that even felt like a massive chore. I rewarded myself by sitting on the couch to drink the coffee when it was ready. I also watched the newest Vlogbrothers video and it kind of changed my day. 

I was introduced to Vlogbrothers…um, a long time ago. I don't really remember. In 2007, two brothers decided to communicate through video blogs and phone calls only. No texts. No instant messenger (cause you know GChat wasn't a thing then…), just video blogs back and forth every day.  Anyway, I haven't finished them all yet, but I really got into them after Lizzie Bennet Diaries ended and I needed something to fill the void. They do silly and ridiculous things. They are unapologetic about what they believe in and support charities around the world. They have a ton of fans/followers that call themselves Nerdfighters. Long story short, they are pretty good guys. 

All of this brings me to the video I watched this morning. Go ahead and watch it. I'll wait. 
John talks about that exhaustion with/in life that drains you of energy, even to do the things you love. 
And as I listened to John talk about what drives him and what makes him tired, I wanted to reach through the screen or call him up in that horrible airport in Birmingham and say, "Me too, John! Me too." 

I know the cycle that he talks about. You get so tired of doing things (because let's face it: being an adult is not always fun and sometimes it is hard) and so you slow down. You give yourself permission to slack off on little things. And slowly, those little things you build up. Before you know it, as John says, "I didn't just stop doing the things that drained me. I also stopped doing everything else. I stopped functioning completely."  

So why does a video from John Green equal a blog post from me? 
John said it best: This is the thing that, instead of draining me, fills me up.

Blogging is the thing that fills me up and it is one of the first things I drop when life starts to be too much. I let the stress of life overwhelm my love of writing. I worry about the reception of blog posts. Maybe I'm not funny enough, maybe I'm too irreverent. I worry about so many others things, and that worry strips me of the joy of creating. 
It will probably be slow going at first, but I hope to get back to a semi-regular posting schedule. And if you start seeing too many posts from me in your newsfeed, call John Green and yell at him. 

(And while you are at it, could you get me an autograph? Thanks.)