I know I've said it before, more times than I can count, but it always surprises me when I see it happen. You know what I'm talking about? When everything in your life -- sermons, friends, devotionals, that guy on the radio -- points to a truth you needed to hear?
Sometimes you need to hear a truth a lot before it actually sinks in. At least, I do.
Last week, one of my #100DaysToBraveSummer devotionals had Psalm 139:14 as the verse of the day.
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
Such a popular verse, heavily quoted, and with good reason. But a few months ago, I found that I loved verse 16 even more, though I hardly ever saw it quoted.
"Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."
Imagine my surprise when I saw it on a slide during a recent sermon. Okay, Pastor. You have my attention! Actually, the whole sermon caught my attention. Not only had my pastor used my new favorite verse, he continued the whole "say yes to God" theme that Annie has been teaching us from Day 1. How do you become brave? Start saying "yes" to God. Don't wait until the fear goes away. Don't wait until you feel equipped. Say "yes" to what God has next.
Y'all, I needed to hear that.
The beginning of June started out okay, but by week two? I was overwhelmed, anxious, a little terrified, and very exhausted. Because I still hadn't carved out a specific time for doing 100 Days to Brave, I missed a lot of days. And even though Annie told us from the beginning to just jump back in when we miss days, that rule-follower-God-won't-listen-if-you-mess-even-just-a-little-bit part of my brain has me feeling like a failure. It starts to tell me that I HAVE to finish the days I missed BEFORE I jump back in. Like I've let Annie down, like I won't be "fully brave" if I skip those days.
How crazy is that?
I'm listening to a Matt Chandler series on James while I get ready for work these days, and one of my favorite things he says in the series is that we are working on progress, not perfection. He says it in almost every sermon and I'm so glad he does. It is slowly becoming something my brain spits out at me when I start feeling down about things. Progress, not perfection. Progress, not perfection.
Repetition is used throughout the Bible to emphasize importance. I don't think it's a stretch to say that hearing truths repeated in different ways, in different areas of your life is used for the same purpose. If you are hearing truths repeated, listen. Tell someone what you are sensing from God and ask them to pray with you or for you. Sometimes saying things out loud helps YOU hear it better, too.
P.S. Case in point? I had to retype this entire post just to get it to publish. Okay, God. I see you. Progress, not perfection.
P. P. S. We are halfway through #100DaysToBraveSummer but it is NOT too late to join in! Grab a copy and jump in. July 27th is Day 61. And I'm pretty sure I'm going to turn around and run the devotional again. It is that good, I promise.
Showing posts with label Matt Chandler. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Matt Chandler. Show all posts
Thursday, July 26, 2018
Tuesday, November 14, 2017
Some Sunday School Thoughts
(I'm going to start this post like I haven't been MIA for the last few months and jump right in and trust that we are friends enough for you to forgive me. Thanks in advance.)
We are halfway through our two part Sunday School class discussing Lee Strobel's Case for Christ and Case for Creation books. The Case for Christ I'm more familiar with, though I'm not sure when I would have actually gone through it. I have the book he wrote and dug it out to read at the recommendation of a friend, in conjunction with the class. (I'll confess right now that I also accidentally picked up Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchet's Good Omens around the same time. Guess which one I finished? Yeah, if you guessed the book that would be least relevant to my Sunday school class, you would be correct.) I've missed the first two classes for Case for Creation so I wasn't really sure what to expect in class. I was blown away by some of the intelligent explanations about creation and how some experts talk about creation ex nihilo and scientific evidence in the same breath without contradiction. I love that. At one point, someone in the class drew attention to the fact that "scientific theories change all the time any way!" in, what seemed to be, an attempt to discredit science and bring focus back on the consistency of the Bible.
My non-scientific heart cried a little. I was reminded of something I read from C. S. Lewis over lent this season (and something I've heard from Matt Chandler a time or two) and eventually chimed in.
Lewis asks the following question: How can an unchanging system survive the continual increase of knowledge? He posits at one point that Christians have little to fear from the acquisition of new scientific knowledge. If we start with belief in the Bible's consistency and infallibility, we are then measuring science against it, not the other way round. But of course, science isn't necessarily consistent! Like the commenter in class stated, scientific theories can change. But (and here is the part I really love), Lewis says that wherever you see real progress in knowledge (or what I sometimes will call "new knowledge") there is some knowledge that is not superseded.
New knowledge does not necessarily supersede old knowledge.
I mean, isn't that just the best gift we as Christian's can be given when we are interacting with the scientific community? You want to tell me that this rock is a million years old? Matt Chandler says, "Awesome. Like, where did you find that?!" No, no wait! It's FIVE million years old! Again, Chandler says, "That is incredible!"
Does the age of the rock change God's existence or my belief that he created the world? Nope. "But it went from one million to five million! That's a huge difference." Our understanding of the scientific world changes with every new discovery that is made. I mean, people once thought that the world was flat and you could sail off the edge. We are continually learning things about the world around us, things that maybe our ancestors never dreamed we would know.
How do I not lose my faith when science starts telling me things about the world that the Bible doesn't mention?
Easy.
My belief isn't in the scientific discovery of the day. My belief is in the One that crafted our universe out of nothing. The One who keeps a storehouse full of snow, waiting until the time is right to release it. Do I get excited when new discoveries are made? You bet I do! Y'all remember those 7 new planets they found earlier this year at only 40 light years away? If Earth is the only habitable planet, why did God bother making anything else in our universe? Was it so we could explore and learn about the created world? Did he do it just to show off? Or was it so we could see that the God who created the stars, the moon, the sun, and all the planets (known and unknown) created Earth uniquely and specifically for us?
I know people sometimes think that because God is SO BIG he couldn't possibly be concerned about a single individual life in this world. But man, isn't that what he is showing us through nature? Of all the planets he created, he put humans on the only one that is able to sustain life.
So let the rocks be seven million years old, let galaxies be discovered 400 light years away. Let your scientific theories change over time, becoming more accurate, more specific as knowledge increases.
God still created the rock.
Lewis asks the following question: How can an unchanging system survive the continual increase of knowledge? He posits at one point that Christians have little to fear from the acquisition of new scientific knowledge. If we start with belief in the Bible's consistency and infallibility, we are then measuring science against it, not the other way round. But of course, science isn't necessarily consistent! Like the commenter in class stated, scientific theories can change. But (and here is the part I really love), Lewis says that wherever you see real progress in knowledge (or what I sometimes will call "new knowledge") there is some knowledge that is not superseded.
New knowledge does not necessarily supersede old knowledge.
I mean, isn't that just the best gift we as Christian's can be given when we are interacting with the scientific community? You want to tell me that this rock is a million years old? Matt Chandler says, "Awesome. Like, where did you find that?!" No, no wait! It's FIVE million years old! Again, Chandler says, "That is incredible!"
Does the age of the rock change God's existence or my belief that he created the world? Nope. "But it went from one million to five million! That's a huge difference." Our understanding of the scientific world changes with every new discovery that is made. I mean, people once thought that the world was flat and you could sail off the edge. We are continually learning things about the world around us, things that maybe our ancestors never dreamed we would know.
How do I not lose my faith when science starts telling me things about the world that the Bible doesn't mention?
Easy.
My belief isn't in the scientific discovery of the day. My belief is in the One that crafted our universe out of nothing. The One who keeps a storehouse full of snow, waiting until the time is right to release it. Do I get excited when new discoveries are made? You bet I do! Y'all remember those 7 new planets they found earlier this year at only 40 light years away? If Earth is the only habitable planet, why did God bother making anything else in our universe? Was it so we could explore and learn about the created world? Did he do it just to show off? Or was it so we could see that the God who created the stars, the moon, the sun, and all the planets (known and unknown) created Earth uniquely and specifically for us?
I know people sometimes think that because God is SO BIG he couldn't possibly be concerned about a single individual life in this world. But man, isn't that what he is showing us through nature? Of all the planets he created, he put humans on the only one that is able to sustain life.
So let the rocks be seven million years old, let galaxies be discovered 400 light years away. Let your scientific theories change over time, becoming more accurate, more specific as knowledge increases.
God still created the rock.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Bigger than the Cross?
In the very first episode of the cult classic TV series "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," Buffy Summers is faced with a hellish situation: starting a new school.
Horrifying, no?
She meets with her new principle who starts their meeting by taking her transcript and ripping it to pieces before her eyes. "Welcome to Sunnydale. A clean slate, Buffy, that's what you get here. What's past is past. We're not interested in what it says on a piece of paper. Even if it says-whoa." He sees a few words, probably "fire" and "gymnasium" and falters. He spends the next few moments verbally supporting his "clean slate" philosophy, all the while slowly reconstructing the torn up transcript to reveal Buffy's very colorful past, taping it together and putting it back into her file.
Sometimes, I approach God like this. Hoping and wishing that I can start with a clean slate. I love that He can make my past ancient history. But I'm really afraid that He will say, "You have a clean slate, starting from--wait, you did WHAT three years ago? Yeah, well, that's not okay. So Let's see...clean slate from...hmmm." I am afraid that God will see my past, the things I've done and the things I've left undone, and tell me that there isn't any hope. I doubt the goodness of God.
And guess what? I got called out on it. By a podcast, no less.
As I was getting ready this morning I listened to a Matt Chandler sermon from last month called "Dealing with Doubt." He was speaking about when we doubt God's love and affection for us. (And I think, for some of us, worth, love and affection is directly tied to what we do or what we don't do.) Matt said this about doubting God's affection for us:
Sometimes it's a doubt thing or as Matt calls it, an idolatry thing. Sometimes, I wonder though, if it isn't a pride thing. "Sure you can save the world, but me? Nope. I've done too many bad things for you to save me." Too much of "me" in that sentence.
I'm reminded of Galatians 1:3-5, the passage my pastor spoke out of this past Sunday. (You can check out the outline here. The audio should be up soon.)
"Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, who gave himself for our sins to rescue us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen."
He gave himself up. To rescue. Me?
Apparently, yes.
Show me something bigger than the Cross?
I won't ever find something bigger than the Cross of Christ.
I just need to look at me less and look to Him more.
Horrifying, no?
She meets with her new principle who starts their meeting by taking her transcript and ripping it to pieces before her eyes. "Welcome to Sunnydale. A clean slate, Buffy, that's what you get here. What's past is past. We're not interested in what it says on a piece of paper. Even if it says-whoa." He sees a few words, probably "fire" and "gymnasium" and falters. He spends the next few moments verbally supporting his "clean slate" philosophy, all the while slowly reconstructing the torn up transcript to reveal Buffy's very colorful past, taping it together and putting it back into her file.
Sometimes, I approach God like this. Hoping and wishing that I can start with a clean slate. I love that He can make my past ancient history. But I'm really afraid that He will say, "You have a clean slate, starting from--wait, you did WHAT three years ago? Yeah, well, that's not okay. So Let's see...clean slate from...hmmm." I am afraid that God will see my past, the things I've done and the things I've left undone, and tell me that there isn't any hope. I doubt the goodness of God.
And guess what? I got called out on it. By a podcast, no less.
As I was getting ready this morning I listened to a Matt Chandler sermon from last month called "Dealing with Doubt." He was speaking about when we doubt God's love and affection for us. (And I think, for some of us, worth, love and affection is directly tied to what we do or what we don't do.) Matt said this about doubting God's affection for us:
So some of you are walking in doubt because you just doubt God’s affection for you. And that’s idolatry, because what you’re doing in essence is looking at the bloody cross of Jesus Christ and going, “That’s not enough. You’re going to have to show me something bigger than this to convince me You love me.” Some of you are wrestling with doubt because you doubt Christ’s affection for you despite the fact that He went to the cross and died for you despite knowing you.And that hit me in the gut. Massively. Tell Him the cross wasn't big enough? The suffering, the anguish, the pain of death on the cruelest devices of torture of that time? That wasn't good enough for me?
Sometimes it's a doubt thing or as Matt calls it, an idolatry thing. Sometimes, I wonder though, if it isn't a pride thing. "Sure you can save the world, but me? Nope. I've done too many bad things for you to save me." Too much of "me" in that sentence.
I'm reminded of Galatians 1:3-5, the passage my pastor spoke out of this past Sunday. (You can check out the outline here. The audio should be up soon.)
"Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, who gave himself for our sins to rescue us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen."
He gave himself up. To rescue. Me?
Apparently, yes.
Show me something bigger than the Cross?
I won't ever find something bigger than the Cross of Christ.
I just need to look at me less and look to Him more.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
When love slams into the soul...
I've been thinking a lot about that whole "love creates discipline" thing these past few days. Trying to figure out just what it means, what it looks like in action and what my response is to it all.
I ended up looking for that Matt Chandler sermon where he talks about love creating discipline. Guess what? He says it in more than one sermon and at one point, he did this whole "love creates..." sermon, where he looks at all the things that are meant to happen when "love slams into our soul."
So I sat down with a pen and paper and wrote out "love creates discipline" at the top. Underneath that, I started to break down these three words.
I pulled out my copy of "The Four Loves" by C. S. Lewis. If you haven't read it, I really recommend it. I think I first read it somewhere around 7th grade. I forget, but I've read it many times since. Just in case this is a case of truly understanding love, I thought I would do some research.
If you are wondering, I'm not really sure what I'm doing. I haven't purposed this blog to be a Bible study, or even necessarily to be a journey through my Christian life. This was originally meant to be my travel blog. And, indeed, it was. But like I've said before, I write from where I am in life, and right now, this is where I am.
I ended up looking for that Matt Chandler sermon where he talks about love creating discipline. Guess what? He says it in more than one sermon and at one point, he did this whole "love creates..." sermon, where he looks at all the things that are meant to happen when "love slams into our soul."
So I sat down with a pen and paper and wrote out "love creates discipline" at the top. Underneath that, I started to break down these three words.
- love of what creates discipline?
- love for what creates discipline?
- what kind of love is needed?
- creates discipline to do what?
I pulled out my copy of "The Four Loves" by C. S. Lewis. If you haven't read it, I really recommend it. I think I first read it somewhere around 7th grade. I forget, but I've read it many times since. Just in case this is a case of truly understanding love, I thought I would do some research.
If you are wondering, I'm not really sure what I'm doing. I haven't purposed this blog to be a Bible study, or even necessarily to be a journey through my Christian life. This was originally meant to be my travel blog. And, indeed, it was. But like I've said before, I write from where I am in life, and right now, this is where I am.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Love Creates Discipline
A friend of mine Tweeted me the other day, asking if I was going to blog about my adventures. I kinda brushed it off in my head (the Tweet--NOT the friend!) and thought, "Gee, I am not doing anything worthy of the name "adventure" and I certainly don't want to bog down the blogsophere with my depressing lack of news in the job department.
She was actually referring to somethings going on in my life that I am keeping under my hat for now (sorry, kids!), so her question was totally legit. But she also reminded me about this blog. How I haven't really been using it like I should. How writing seems to make space in my brain for other things. How much I really love words.
Matt Chandler says that love creates discipline. That is something I struggle with in all areas of my life. When I first heard him say it I decided that it made sense. Love for his wife compels him to pick up his towel, not because he has an overwhelming desire to deal with damp bath towels. (Seriously man, this is his illustration used in a sermon. Forget which one, but I'm sure you could Tweet him and find out.)
But I guess I didn't really understand. It's not limited to house work (obviously), thought I tried to start there. I thought if I "loved" my house, I would take better care of it. The dishes that sat in my sink all week, unwashed, didn't agree. Maybe personal appearance? Maybe if I could love myself more, take care of it better, I would work out a better schedule for myself. Last nights bedtime of 1.30am begs to differ. I didn't even make it to "love of God" in this scenario; that is how much I didn't understand. Love and relationships are hard work. I should have reasoned that discipline would take the same amount of work. But I didn't. Instead I saw my life just happen around me. No discipline. And when that started to go, I think some of the love went too.
I think the love & discipline are two sides of the same coin. They cannot be independent from each other, because then you get love of something that doesn't have anything to do with discipline you have created. And really what you are left with is self-motivated discipline to selfish love.
I'm learning that that is no way to live the life Christ died to give us, the life that God had planned for us from before the beginning of the world (Eph. 1). I've decided I WANT to live the life He planned for me. And for me, right now, starting that life looks like starting over. Learning how to pray again. Learning how to read the Bible and breaking down passages so I'm not just reading the words but understanding what is going on.
Easy? Not so much. It's a re-learning. It requires me to ignore stuff I thought I knew and look at things through a new lens.
Putting my English major skills to good use? Yes.
After all, they were part of the plan He has for me...
She was actually referring to somethings going on in my life that I am keeping under my hat for now (sorry, kids!), so her question was totally legit. But she also reminded me about this blog. How I haven't really been using it like I should. How writing seems to make space in my brain for other things. How much I really love words.
Matt Chandler says that love creates discipline. That is something I struggle with in all areas of my life. When I first heard him say it I decided that it made sense. Love for his wife compels him to pick up his towel, not because he has an overwhelming desire to deal with damp bath towels. (Seriously man, this is his illustration used in a sermon. Forget which one, but I'm sure you could Tweet him and find out.)
But I guess I didn't really understand. It's not limited to house work (obviously), thought I tried to start there. I thought if I "loved" my house, I would take better care of it. The dishes that sat in my sink all week, unwashed, didn't agree. Maybe personal appearance? Maybe if I could love myself more, take care of it better, I would work out a better schedule for myself. Last nights bedtime of 1.30am begs to differ. I didn't even make it to "love of God" in this scenario; that is how much I didn't understand. Love and relationships are hard work. I should have reasoned that discipline would take the same amount of work. But I didn't. Instead I saw my life just happen around me. No discipline. And when that started to go, I think some of the love went too.
I think the love & discipline are two sides of the same coin. They cannot be independent from each other, because then you get love of something that doesn't have anything to do with discipline you have created. And really what you are left with is self-motivated discipline to selfish love.
I'm learning that that is no way to live the life Christ died to give us, the life that God had planned for us from before the beginning of the world (Eph. 1). I've decided I WANT to live the life He planned for me. And for me, right now, starting that life looks like starting over. Learning how to pray again. Learning how to read the Bible and breaking down passages so I'm not just reading the words but understanding what is going on.
Easy? Not so much. It's a re-learning. It requires me to ignore stuff I thought I knew and look at things through a new lens.
Putting my English major skills to good use? Yes.
After all, they were part of the plan He has for me...
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Broken Umbrellas, Spilled Coffee, Blind Spots - and a little hope
Today was better than yesterday. And for that I am thankful.
Yesterday started with a broken umbrella, spilled coffee, and, well -- let's just say a failure to comprehend labels on my clothing. Yeah. Good day.
This morning, I stuck my mascara brush in my eye, resulting in a big black blob on my contact lens. Not a brilliant thing to do, but truly a much better boo-boo for my morning than yesterday.
But back to the problem of not being able to see out of one eye. What do I do? All of of the rest of my eye make up was already applied and removing the contact to clean it, well that would just ruin that work! I tried to cry, attempted to put eye drops in and eventually got all the mascara out of my eye ball. Phew. I will be so glad to get this contact out and cleaned properly tonight!
I stumbled on something today from The Village Church. Before you run away, assuming I will once again be singing the praises of Matt Chandler, this isn't about him. (But he DID just finish up a sermon series on Habakkuk that is AWESOME and there is a short Q&A video he did here. Oops. I guess that was...well, never mind.)
I found this video testimony from a guy called Nick Stevens.
(One of these days, I will learn how to embed a video. Today is not that day.)
I don't know Nick. He doesn't know me. But it seems we are close to the same part of the path of Christian living. Here is something he says at the end of the video that spoke to my heart today.
Yesterday started with a broken umbrella, spilled coffee, and, well -- let's just say a failure to comprehend labels on my clothing. Yeah. Good day.
This morning, I stuck my mascara brush in my eye, resulting in a big black blob on my contact lens. Not a brilliant thing to do, but truly a much better boo-boo for my morning than yesterday.
But back to the problem of not being able to see out of one eye. What do I do? All of of the rest of my eye make up was already applied and removing the contact to clean it, well that would just ruin that work! I tried to cry, attempted to put eye drops in and eventually got all the mascara out of my eye ball. Phew. I will be so glad to get this contact out and cleaned properly tonight!
I stumbled on something today from The Village Church. Before you run away, assuming I will once again be singing the praises of Matt Chandler, this isn't about him. (But he DID just finish up a sermon series on Habakkuk that is AWESOME and there is a short Q&A video he did here. Oops. I guess that was...well, never mind.)
I found this video testimony from a guy called Nick Stevens.
(One of these days, I will learn how to embed a video. Today is not that day.)
I don't know Nick. He doesn't know me. But it seems we are close to the same part of the path of Christian living. Here is something he says at the end of the video that spoke to my heart today.
Not really knowing whats ahead of me. Not knowing what God has in store. And even some days, just not feeling his presence in my day to day life. But I am thankful for ... the right understanding of God so I can press into Him in times where, even tomorrow, I'm not sure what's next, or even what's in store.Maybe this will bless you. Maybe it won't. But for me, knowing that another believer miles away is struggling with this but has found a way to, as Matt says at The Village, "press into God" even on the days of doubt? It gives me hope.~ Nick Stevens
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Sunday Lessons
When I get ready for church Sunday mornings, sometimes I like to jam to praise music. Sometimes I don't listen to anything. And sometimes, even though I know I am going to be hearing a sermon later in the morning, I listen to a Matt Chandler sermon.
Today was one of the "sermon" mornings.
Matt is doing a series in Habakkuk and, except for today's sermon, I'm almost caught up. I'm currently listening to the sermon entitled "American Monkeys" and I promise that will make sense if you listen to Week 7 & 8 of the series! In it, he talks about the idols in our lives (from physical beauty to fulfillment in marriage) that replace our dependence on all powerful God. He called anything that we try to control an idol. And it got me thinking: what is the one thing I am trying to control that really belongs to God?
Easy.
My job. My next apartment. My future.
If I had my way, I would have a job in place already, a new apartment lined up and ready to move into June 1st. But...that is so not the case. My friend told me a few weeks ago, while we were discussing this very thing, that God is sometimes "the eleventh hour God." Not to belittle Him in any way, but often times He makes us wait, makes us freak out a little, makes us get to the point where there is no earthly explanation for the miracle He is about to unleash in your life. The last step before He moves? It's the step of faith I have to take, believing that He will move because He says He will take care of me.
I have a love/hate relationship with that step. I love it because I can throw my hands up like the prophets of old and say, "God, look at this! This is the problem. What are You going to do about it?" I realize that He is ultimately in control. It's not my plan, but His, that will bring about His glory and plan for my life. On the other hand, I hate it because I feel like I'm drowning. I can't see the two steps in front of the end of May. And not knowing scares me.
So as all of this is on my mind, I head to church. One of the passages that was used in the sermons jumped out and slapped my idol of security around a little more.
Acts 17:26 says that God has "determined allotted periods and boundaries of their dwelling place."
That means...that God knows how long I will be in this drafty apartment (which I am thankful for!). Not only that, but when HE allowed me to move here, He directed my steps. He knows which day is the last day I sleep here and the first night that I will sleep in my new apartment. And BONUS-- He knows WHERE the new apartment is!
Pastor Tim said something similar to this last week. Something about the geography of where we are and how God has a plan for it. I hear it. I want to believe it. But sometimes I guess it takes a few preachers a few different times to get it to sink into my brain.
I extraordinarily thankful for humans who don't give up on me. It gives me a taste of what it is like to have a God that never even thinks about abandoning me. And having cheerleaders like that in my corner? It makes me ache for Heaven, but it also reminds me that I'm not living life alone.
And that is an encouraging thought.
Today was one of the "sermon" mornings.
Matt is doing a series in Habakkuk and, except for today's sermon, I'm almost caught up. I'm currently listening to the sermon entitled "American Monkeys" and I promise that will make sense if you listen to Week 7 & 8 of the series! In it, he talks about the idols in our lives (from physical beauty to fulfillment in marriage) that replace our dependence on all powerful God. He called anything that we try to control an idol. And it got me thinking: what is the one thing I am trying to control that really belongs to God?
Easy.
My job. My next apartment. My future.
If I had my way, I would have a job in place already, a new apartment lined up and ready to move into June 1st. But...that is so not the case. My friend told me a few weeks ago, while we were discussing this very thing, that God is sometimes "the eleventh hour God." Not to belittle Him in any way, but often times He makes us wait, makes us freak out a little, makes us get to the point where there is no earthly explanation for the miracle He is about to unleash in your life. The last step before He moves? It's the step of faith I have to take, believing that He will move because He says He will take care of me.
I have a love/hate relationship with that step. I love it because I can throw my hands up like the prophets of old and say, "God, look at this! This is the problem. What are You going to do about it?" I realize that He is ultimately in control. It's not my plan, but His, that will bring about His glory and plan for my life. On the other hand, I hate it because I feel like I'm drowning. I can't see the two steps in front of the end of May. And not knowing scares me.
So as all of this is on my mind, I head to church. One of the passages that was used in the sermons jumped out and slapped my idol of security around a little more.
Acts 17:26 says that God has "determined allotted periods and boundaries of their dwelling place."
That means...that God knows how long I will be in this drafty apartment (which I am thankful for!). Not only that, but when HE allowed me to move here, He directed my steps. He knows which day is the last day I sleep here and the first night that I will sleep in my new apartment. And BONUS-- He knows WHERE the new apartment is!
Pastor Tim said something similar to this last week. Something about the geography of where we are and how God has a plan for it. I hear it. I want to believe it. But sometimes I guess it takes a few preachers a few different times to get it to sink into my brain.
I extraordinarily thankful for humans who don't give up on me. It gives me a taste of what it is like to have a God that never even thinks about abandoning me. And having cheerleaders like that in my corner? It makes me ache for Heaven, but it also reminds me that I'm not living life alone.
And that is an encouraging thought.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
What I'm doing here
What am I doing here?
Too often, I'm struck by this question and it throws my life off balance. I want to know what I'm supposed to do to make my life worth living. Count 'em: three references to me being in control of my life. Not only that, but deciding the worthiness of my life by my own actions and fulfillment and satisfaction. So many problems going on in that last thought!
I have a confession: I didn't go to church today. Shock. It is the strangest feeling to not be with a body of believers. What I did do was pull up the internet (a very hard task some days!), log onto The Village Church website and listen to a Matt Chandler sermon called "What Are We Doing Here?"
I love Matt Chandler. His sermons, no matter when they were originally given, always speak to a place in my life that I am struggling with. I love (and hate) that they usually hit me right between the eyes, that they help me see my sin where I didn't recognize the sin. He would probably be upset with the semi-rock star status I give to him, so let me clarify a little more. He is so quick to say how fallen he is, so I'm not under the illusion that he is perfect. I get that. What I so treasure about his ministry is how open and honest he is. He doesn't sugar coat things and calls out the problems the Christians of the Plastic Church without apology. I am a member there some days and it is refreshing and liberating to know that being a "messy Christian" is not something to be ashamed of. We are all hopelessly flawed. In Christ, we have perfection, yes. But we still live in a sinful world and we can't and won't get it right this side of eternity.
One of the things that spoke to my heart and the way I live my life this morning was this: that the glory of God is weightier than anything I find important. He is ultimate reality. If I don't understand God as the ultimate reality, I understand him only as a concept. A concept is not hard & fast--I can change and adjust it to my understanding. And this is what Matt says about that: "When you know God as a concept, you are heavier than Him. You say 'I have more glory than God. I'm smarter than God as He's revealed Himself to be for over four thousand years.' [But] when He becomes our ultimate reality, that changes everything. "
It's the glory and grace of God that allows me to be called His child. He has extended the gift of eternal life to me for His glory. So all my questions about my purpose and future? They mean nothing because it's not about me. It's about the weight of His glory.
Why am I here? For the glory of God. What am I supposed to do with my life? Anything--everything-- for the glory of God. Will I go back to school? If I do, it's for the glory of God. What if I never get married? If I don't, it's for the glory of God.
My identity as a student, daughter, sister, friend--this doesn't define me. It won't last. But understanding God as ultimate reality? Knowing that He doesn't change, won't change to accommodate the whims of my sinful life? That because of His unchanging nature I can cling to the fact that "Even in this, God is good"? That is going to change the way I live my life, for the glory of God.
"And it’s only the weight of God, the reality of God that sustains that, not the concept of God." ~Matt Chandler
Too often, I'm struck by this question and it throws my life off balance. I want to know what I'm supposed to do to make my life worth living. Count 'em: three references to me being in control of my life. Not only that, but deciding the worthiness of my life by my own actions and fulfillment and satisfaction. So many problems going on in that last thought!
I have a confession: I didn't go to church today. Shock. It is the strangest feeling to not be with a body of believers. What I did do was pull up the internet (a very hard task some days!), log onto The Village Church website and listen to a Matt Chandler sermon called "What Are We Doing Here?"
I love Matt Chandler. His sermons, no matter when they were originally given, always speak to a place in my life that I am struggling with. I love (and hate) that they usually hit me right between the eyes, that they help me see my sin where I didn't recognize the sin. He would probably be upset with the semi-rock star status I give to him, so let me clarify a little more. He is so quick to say how fallen he is, so I'm not under the illusion that he is perfect. I get that. What I so treasure about his ministry is how open and honest he is. He doesn't sugar coat things and calls out the problems the Christians of the Plastic Church without apology. I am a member there some days and it is refreshing and liberating to know that being a "messy Christian" is not something to be ashamed of. We are all hopelessly flawed. In Christ, we have perfection, yes. But we still live in a sinful world and we can't and won't get it right this side of eternity.
One of the things that spoke to my heart and the way I live my life this morning was this: that the glory of God is weightier than anything I find important. He is ultimate reality. If I don't understand God as the ultimate reality, I understand him only as a concept. A concept is not hard & fast--I can change and adjust it to my understanding. And this is what Matt says about that: "When you know God as a concept, you are heavier than Him. You say 'I have more glory than God. I'm smarter than God as He's revealed Himself to be for over four thousand years.' [But] when He becomes our ultimate reality, that changes everything. "
It's the glory and grace of God that allows me to be called His child. He has extended the gift of eternal life to me for His glory. So all my questions about my purpose and future? They mean nothing because it's not about me. It's about the weight of His glory.
Why am I here? For the glory of God. What am I supposed to do with my life? Anything--everything-- for the glory of God. Will I go back to school? If I do, it's for the glory of God. What if I never get married? If I don't, it's for the glory of God.
My identity as a student, daughter, sister, friend--this doesn't define me. It won't last. But understanding God as ultimate reality? Knowing that He doesn't change, won't change to accommodate the whims of my sinful life? That because of His unchanging nature I can cling to the fact that "Even in this, God is good"? That is going to change the way I live my life, for the glory of God.
"And it’s only the weight of God, the reality of God that sustains that, not the concept of God." ~Matt Chandler
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Death Comes in Threes...I hope
Five months ago, I sat with my youth group as we mourned the loss of one of our own. Loosing a peer hits hard. Two weeks ago, I sat in my apartment crying over the loss of a member of my church family. He was a daddy, a husband, a friend. I called my dad that day, just so I could hear his voice. That night, I thought, "Dear God, I hope death doesn't come in threes, because I just can't bear the loss of another friend." Yesterday, I got the news I didn't want to hear: death number three. He wasn't even a year old, sick from birth. I'm not a mom, don't have children--but this loss hit me just as hard.
Today, as with most days at work, I've been listening to some Matt Chandler sermons from a few years ago. He's in Ecclesiastes, which is really great for feeling good about enjoying life, right? Wrong. Even through that difficult book, Matt speaks truth about what God thinks of me and God's purpose for me in suffering. It doesn't make the pain go away. I go from laughing to crying to sobbing in seconds these past few days. But the reminder that God is in every part of my life is like a hug from a friend.
I'm trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be learning from all of this pain, and I can't help but wonder, "What can I learn from losing a father and a baby that I can't by losing a teenage boy?"
Death is no respecter of person, age, or situation in life. I know that. But I wish it would pick on another person. I'm afraid that the next loss won't hurt as badly, that I won't care as much. I scared that I might lose whatever feeling I have left.
Today, as with most days at work, I've been listening to some Matt Chandler sermons from a few years ago. He's in Ecclesiastes, which is really great for feeling good about enjoying life, right? Wrong. Even through that difficult book, Matt speaks truth about what God thinks of me and God's purpose for me in suffering. It doesn't make the pain go away. I go from laughing to crying to sobbing in seconds these past few days. But the reminder that God is in every part of my life is like a hug from a friend.
I'm trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be learning from all of this pain, and I can't help but wonder, "What can I learn from losing a father and a baby that I can't by losing a teenage boy?"
Death is no respecter of person, age, or situation in life. I know that. But I wish it would pick on another person. I'm afraid that the next loss won't hurt as badly, that I won't care as much. I scared that I might lose whatever feeling I have left.
Faith is believing that God is here, and that Everything comes from His hands, even sorrow.
We want to believe that God gives us all the candy and that the devil's there to take it. But that's not the devil I read in Scripture. He's no bishop that can float about the board as he pleases; he's a pawn that always needs permission. So, has God caused your sorrow? No. Has He allowed it? Yeah, the full brunt of it and has not abandoned you to endure it alone. Nor is this about His wrath towards you but His mercy, that your suffering just might be the mercy of God for you.“Why? How could He allow...? What kind of God would allow...?” A God who loves you so much that He refuses to let you become Verruca Salt. (That's the “I want the golden goose” girl from “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.”) Maybe because He does not desire that you be this anemic, weak, spoiled, self-righteous believer in self.
Maybe because the only way to convert and remold is to hammer and hurt.
~Matt Chandler~
Maybe because the only way to convert and remold is to hammer and hurt.
~Matt Chandler~
*Update*
If death does come in fives however, as I've also heard , I've got that one covered too. Five deaths in 10 months time. I am REALLY ready for some good times...
If death does come in fives however, as I've also heard , I've got that one covered too. Five deaths in 10 months time. I am REALLY ready for some good times...
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