A Thrill of Hope

I've being following along with She Reads Truth advent devotionals this year. There's a whole thing about me wanting to purchase this beautiful bound book that they put together (with all the advent readings, artwork, scripture, etc.) but just couldn't justify the price, but then a friend reminded me that it is all online for FREE so...here we are. 

The reading today talked about hope and joy. How hoping for things at times seems too painful because of disappointment in the past. Man, I felt that. There have been so many times in my life, past and very recent present, that I have been intensely disappointed. 

Betrayed.

Let down. 

Abandoned.

Hope seems useless when things keep blowing up in your face. Looking forward to good things seems pointless because of that tiny annoying voice (that eventually gets louder than you can bear) that says you don't deserve good things.  

In Luke 1:13, Gabriel appears to Zechariah and tells him such news that Zechariah has trouble believing it: "Do not be afraid,Zechariah, because your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you will name him John."

The story isn't new to me, but the thing I noticed when I read it this time was that Gabriel said "Your prayer has been heard." Could he be talking about an old prayer from a young Zechariah and a young Elizabeth? That's always been what I thought. But this time...what if it was a prayer that Zechariah became too used to praying that he forgot he was saying the words? Or what if his faith was so strong that he continued praying for a son, even past the age when it should be possible, because he believed that God could do mighty and miraculous things? 

Your prayer has been heard. 

You are not betrayed. You have not been let down. 

You have not been abandoned. 

Later in the story, after we find out Elizabeth is pregnant and has been secluded for five months, she says, "The Lord has done this for me." (Luke 1:25) She knows. This is no small wink from heaven that might have something to do with her story. This is a very personal event that tells her that God heard her prayer, saw her want, and gave her a son. 

A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices. For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn. 

Ya'll I am tired. This year has been exhausting. That tiny thrill of hope in my soul keeps burning out. I'm afraid to let it in because of all the hurt that has happened. In this waiting time of Advent, I keep reading about Emmanuel, God with us. Fulfillment of prophecy. And I keep coming back to that phrase: a thrill of hope the weary world rejoices. This hope, this Jesus--is enough to make the weary rejoice. And from great personal experience, when you are world weary, not a lot makes you rejoice.  

May that thrill of hope be enough for you this season to say that prayer one more time, to ask God that impossible thing that he has put in your heart. Maybe even to pray a prayer for a situation that seems hopeless, one that you can't see a solution for. 

That thrill? I'm not sure it's very big. It's the goosebumps on your arms, the flutter in your stomach. 

But it is enough.

Finding Joy

I'm grabbing a few moments on this cold Sunday while my tea is too hot to drink and the library is temporarily settled. (Moments like this are few and far between these days!)

I say it every year: finals is simultaneously my favorite and least favorite time of the semester. This year is no exception. Last week was the last week of classes. It was hectic and stressful and was the first time I had a student cry on me about a grade. (The test was taken again, a better grade was achieved, everyone is doing great.)

This week, exam week, is sometimes easier, though not without its own stresses. There is last minute research (that probably should have been done a few weeks ago), last ditch efforts to write 4 papers in three days, and attempts to cram everything you learned all year onto ONE cheat index card. Of course the biggest concern on student's minds is, 'What if the library runs out of snacks before everyone is done studying?!" Don't worry, y'all. I've got popcorn and cookies coming out of my ears. We will be just fine. 

The first few hours today were busy, but honestly? Oh man I loved them. I got to connect with a few of my regulars as well as some of my Exam Regulars.

There was a moment today when I looked at myself and said, "Girl, you LOOK happy."  Feelings are sometimes unreliable in their ability to help you understand the world around you. They are real because they are part of your experience, but sometimes yeah, unreliable. But today, in that moment? My feelings and my reality were the same: I WAS happy. 

It's been a hard year. Not even touching my personal life, work has had more than a few ups and downs. I had three different bosses this year, not to mention an interim person to report to, as well as staff changes at Old Navy. I saw student workers graduate; I had a new batch of student workers start this fall. I had really productive months, and I've also had some really unproductive months. Isn't life a balance anyway? 
So to be able to stop and recognize a good day, I mean, a really good day? I love it. 


As we step into the second week of Advent, I'd like to encourage you to notice those moments. Notice the moments that leave a smile on your face and peace in your heart. 

They might be when you are at work doing what you absolutely love. 

They might be when you finally get home from work to the people that you love. 

And if you have to create your moment? Go for it. Make yourself a cup of tea and turn on that Christmas music.

Notice when you are using your gifts to serve others. 

Look for peace. Recognize joy when you see it. Call them by name and take a moment to be grateful for the gifts that don't need to be wrapped in colorful paper.